Den of Iniquity
I went to a strip club last night. It was my first time (something that all the dancers seemed to pick up on). I went with 4 friends (1 female, 3 male). I was the only strip club newbie among my group. It was quite an experience.
The Club
The club was situated in the very industrial harbor section of our city (my friend J. refers to it as the 'sex and chemical district' since the majority of the places there either deal with the incoming gas and chemicals being offloaded from the large barges and ships and all manner of Adult Venues). We walked in and to the right was a smallish bar area swarming with shady men and moderately good looking, scantily clad women. Boy did I feel overdressed. To our left were some lounge-like tables and stools and the main dance area. Right behind the bar was a doorway leading to the All Nude room ($10 extra, no thank you). Up stairs was a sports bar area with pool tables, TV's, and a smallish dance stage ("every man's dream" said J., "sports and naked women").
My friend and I went to the Ladies Room, where she almost walked in on a dancer snorting something in a stall. Then said dancer exited and asked us what time it was. My friend responded that it was 10:30pm, and then inquired as to when the dancer's (clad in a white bikini-like set, slightly heavier than average, not terribly perky breasts, but real ones) shift was over. The Lady in White said something that did not quite make sense and which we took to mean as she was not sure. An interesting start.
We then joined our male friends nearer to the stage. And when I say stage I mean raised platform with barstools around it where average-looking women gyrated practically on top of the customers (and in the case of one particularly talented woman doing a backflip-like move so that she and her client were roughly approximating the "69" position). At first we sat sort of above the stage area and observed, eventually making our way down to the stage.
The first dancer to approach us along the barrier (did I mention that contact b/w dancer and patron was not frowned upon at this particular club, as long as the patron did not get too touchy?) was our friend from the bathroom. She gyrated over and greeted me, then asked if this was my first time at a strip club (a question that I was asked a lot that night by club employees). I said that It was. Then the Lady in White shook her very ample, but very beautiful, behind in front of J. and I, then kindly buried our heads in her bosom. This seemed the standard operating procedure at that place (one girl later told me that they were rather lax about that, as oong as the patron "didn't stick his fingers anywhere"). We spent the next few hours floating back and forth between the stage (when the women dancing there were attractive to us) and the rest of the first floor.
My friend, J., seemed to have a fascination with smaller breasted women (though he is a self proclaimed 'ass man' overall). he found one woman in particular rather attractive, reminding him of a naughty secretary (smart looking, with long, straight brown hair, cool glasses, perky tits). We later ran into her upstairs and the boys decided to buy me a lap dance from her, since there is only one first time at a strip club. Sadly, they were not allowed to watch, though I do think that just imagining this gorgeous woman gyrating on top of me was enough for them.
The Lap Dance
The Naughty Secretary escorted me downstairs, to a room behind the area above the main stage. It was rectangular, and lined with soft benches that created 3 or 4 C-shaped areas. Not very private. The rules were explained to me- one song, light touching is OK, but no sticking my fingers anywhere (I should mention that you get a choice of topless or all nude lap dances, the boys had chosen topless for me). She seemed more real and well, sober, than some of the others and we chatted about her work at the club (been doing this for a few years), the other girls (turns out that they make fun of the ones with bad, spherical boob jobs), the customers (mainly nice, but some assholes), sexuality in general (we both find labels of any sort distasteful). There was some sort of awkward thing going on between the customer and stripper at the area next to us. When I asked what was going on, Naught Secretary replied that she was not sure, but that she tried to stay away from the kind of weird stuff that seemed to go on around us. I found our new secretarial friend to be very cool, and very different from the other dancers. I got this vibe that reminded me of my hippie friends from college who would run around naked at the drop of a hat (especially if it involved a Phish concert or natural pool of water). In conclusion, a great first lap dance (well...considering that I have nothing to compare it to).
After that J. and his girlfriend, S., bought a lap dance form her. Well, S. had one and for a little bit extra $$ J. got to watch. They returned rather pleased.
The Awkward Moment
So, at one point upstairs I think that I saw someone that I work with. A fellow 20-something who works in another department (if it was him). I didn't want to go over and say "Jon Doe, is that you?" and be totally wrong. Especially while he had some woman's ass in his face. And it seemed that talking to other patrons that you did not come with was slightly frowned upon. Men (and 2 other women, besides S. and myself) seemed to move in their own cirlces, not really interact unless they needed to. I am pondering whether or not to broach the subject with said co-worker should I see him on Monday. (Any suggestions?).
All in all, I don't see many more visits to a strip club anytime soon (unless in Canada, where I hear they are really high class and spectacular). It was an experience. I'm glad I did it.
And you only live once.
The Club
The club was situated in the very industrial harbor section of our city (my friend J. refers to it as the 'sex and chemical district' since the majority of the places there either deal with the incoming gas and chemicals being offloaded from the large barges and ships and all manner of Adult Venues). We walked in and to the right was a smallish bar area swarming with shady men and moderately good looking, scantily clad women. Boy did I feel overdressed. To our left were some lounge-like tables and stools and the main dance area. Right behind the bar was a doorway leading to the All Nude room ($10 extra, no thank you). Up stairs was a sports bar area with pool tables, TV's, and a smallish dance stage ("every man's dream" said J., "sports and naked women").
My friend and I went to the Ladies Room, where she almost walked in on a dancer snorting something in a stall. Then said dancer exited and asked us what time it was. My friend responded that it was 10:30pm, and then inquired as to when the dancer's (clad in a white bikini-like set, slightly heavier than average, not terribly perky breasts, but real ones) shift was over. The Lady in White said something that did not quite make sense and which we took to mean as she was not sure. An interesting start.
We then joined our male friends nearer to the stage. And when I say stage I mean raised platform with barstools around it where average-looking women gyrated practically on top of the customers (and in the case of one particularly talented woman doing a backflip-like move so that she and her client were roughly approximating the "69" position). At first we sat sort of above the stage area and observed, eventually making our way down to the stage.
The first dancer to approach us along the barrier (did I mention that contact b/w dancer and patron was not frowned upon at this particular club, as long as the patron did not get too touchy?) was our friend from the bathroom. She gyrated over and greeted me, then asked if this was my first time at a strip club (a question that I was asked a lot that night by club employees). I said that It was. Then the Lady in White shook her very ample, but very beautiful, behind in front of J. and I, then kindly buried our heads in her bosom. This seemed the standard operating procedure at that place (one girl later told me that they were rather lax about that, as oong as the patron "didn't stick his fingers anywhere"). We spent the next few hours floating back and forth between the stage (when the women dancing there were attractive to us) and the rest of the first floor.
My friend, J., seemed to have a fascination with smaller breasted women (though he is a self proclaimed 'ass man' overall). he found one woman in particular rather attractive, reminding him of a naughty secretary (smart looking, with long, straight brown hair, cool glasses, perky tits). We later ran into her upstairs and the boys decided to buy me a lap dance from her, since there is only one first time at a strip club. Sadly, they were not allowed to watch, though I do think that just imagining this gorgeous woman gyrating on top of me was enough for them.
The Lap Dance
The Naughty Secretary escorted me downstairs, to a room behind the area above the main stage. It was rectangular, and lined with soft benches that created 3 or 4 C-shaped areas. Not very private. The rules were explained to me- one song, light touching is OK, but no sticking my fingers anywhere (I should mention that you get a choice of topless or all nude lap dances, the boys had chosen topless for me). She seemed more real and well, sober, than some of the others and we chatted about her work at the club (been doing this for a few years), the other girls (turns out that they make fun of the ones with bad, spherical boob jobs), the customers (mainly nice, but some assholes), sexuality in general (we both find labels of any sort distasteful). There was some sort of awkward thing going on between the customer and stripper at the area next to us. When I asked what was going on, Naught Secretary replied that she was not sure, but that she tried to stay away from the kind of weird stuff that seemed to go on around us. I found our new secretarial friend to be very cool, and very different from the other dancers. I got this vibe that reminded me of my hippie friends from college who would run around naked at the drop of a hat (especially if it involved a Phish concert or natural pool of water). In conclusion, a great first lap dance (well...considering that I have nothing to compare it to).
After that J. and his girlfriend, S., bought a lap dance form her. Well, S. had one and for a little bit extra $$ J. got to watch. They returned rather pleased.
The Awkward Moment
So, at one point upstairs I think that I saw someone that I work with. A fellow 20-something who works in another department (if it was him). I didn't want to go over and say "Jon Doe, is that you?" and be totally wrong. Especially while he had some woman's ass in his face. And it seemed that talking to other patrons that you did not come with was slightly frowned upon. Men (and 2 other women, besides S. and myself) seemed to move in their own cirlces, not really interact unless they needed to. I am pondering whether or not to broach the subject with said co-worker should I see him on Monday. (Any suggestions?).
All in all, I don't see many more visits to a strip club anytime soon (unless in Canada, where I hear they are really high class and spectacular). It was an experience. I'm glad I did it.
And you only live once.
posted by Lyss | 1:45 PM
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